vrijdag 12 augustus 2016

Too short, too busy, too ambitious!

Hi there!

I have so much to tell you all. I don't even know where to start. I got a new house, a couple of new jobs and I got accepted into a Master's program in International and European Law: Public International Law at the University of Amsterdam!

These last couple of weeks I have been working a lot, trying to make some money before I go on holidays. I do all kinds of jobs. I sometimes work as an evening receptionist at a small hotel in Amsterdam, in the Old South (Oud Zuid), checking people in and setting everything up for breakfast. I check people in at airbnb apartments in Amsterdam, driving around on a scooter from one place to another (which is kind of scary sometimes), I do promotional work for different kinds of brands, I do hostess jobs and during the week I work as a receptionist at Clifford Chance in Amsterdam. The truth is, it's not easy to make a lot of money in a short amount of time, unless you don't want any free time at all for yourself and your friends.

But I had to take some breaks, because I was moving to a different apartment. I found a studio for myself in the north of Amsterdam, at the NDSM. Moving takes a lot of time and effort and I am very grateful for my family, who helped me so much. I finally have my own bathroom and my own kitchen. Unfortunately, the very first time I was using my cooker, it broke! With a loud bang and with flames. Fixing my wifi was also a lot of hassle. I have tv now, but the channels are all mixed and not in a logical order. For the computer I still needed a router and so on. But the internet is finally fixed now! For my apartment I still need a wardrobe, a couch and a dining table with chairs. I had my own couch, which I really loved, but I couldn't get it out of my flat. Later on, we discovered the solution to getting it out of the flat, but by that time we already left. Now I'm still a bit sad and grouchy about my lovely couch, which I had to sell.. Lovely black couch, I will always love you. Unfortunately, my couch has found a new owner and a new home. So now, I'm on the market looking for furniture! I love antics and I love colors like "wood" and white. I also love buying useless pretty stuff at flea markets. The hunt for nice things for the apartment will continue for some weeks. And good god, I already have problems with the electricity for cooking and my sink is leaking. It's not easy to move, but I'll take care of it all, because I love my new spot. I have a lovely view of the harbor and the NDSM werf. I live next to the festivals, the flea market and lots of cool restaurants. There isn't any noise from neighbors, my room is completely dark at night and I can go to the bathroom anytime I want! Also, the only mess in my apartment is my own mess!

Other great news is that I finally got accepted into the master's program of International and European law in Amsterdam! I'm so glad about this, because it was really frustrating to have to prove all the time to my university that I actually obtained my bachelor's degree and successfully did a pre-master in Law. I also had to do an IELTS test to actually prove that I could speak and write English. I protested against this, because I was raised bilingually. Unfortunately, I still had to do this time-consuming test, whilst also studying for exams. I got an 8.5 and that's great, but the whole thing felt very unnecessary to me. If you've studied Psychology and European Studies, you should be able to speak and write in English. Let alone, if you have a parent who speaks English to you all the time.

Another thing that bothered me was that while I was applying for jobs at different modeling agencies and hostess agencies, I learned that some people think I am too short to be a good hostess, or to be a good promotional model. I get so upset about this, because it's complete nonsense! Who says you're not pretty or a good hostess when you're 1,63 instead of 1,70? Did you know Kourtney Kardashian is only 1,52? That Emilia Clarke is 1,57? Are they not beautiful and capable women? It's complete nonsense. I have actually really thought about starting a hostess/promotional modeling agency. I would like to give shorter women a chance.

The problem is I have so many great ideas and too little time. Whilst working to make money, doing grocery shopping and errands, keeping your house clean and tidy and maintaining my relationships with people, there is almost no time left for sports, business ideas and other interests like acting, singing and writing, let alone time for castings, auditions and fotoshoots. My days are completely full and I don't give myself time to just relax and be on my own. When I'm on my own and I have some time left I feel like I should be doing something, even if it's just organizing my room or reading a book.

My friends say I'm a perfectionist and I want too much in life. They say I should focus on just one or two things. While that would give me a lot of peace of mind and would help me concentrate and excel, I wouldn't be content with that. I am 25 years old now and a lot of things have to happen right now or in the near future, if I ever want them to be done. I only have one life and that's a lot of pressure. I'm trying my best right now to organize everything the best way I can and not too stress. How do some people do it? How do they see their friends, have a great career, keep up with their hobbies and interests, do lots of extracurricular activities and have a love life all at the same time? Please people, tell me your secrets! I even have trouble telling my multiple jobs about my availability for the coming weeks, because I have priorities, but at the same time, I do want to work! It's hard, because my friends are my priority but I also need to work enough to pay for my studies. I work at Clifford Chance, the law firm, and I see young people everyday doing an internship here and I just don't know how they found the time to study hard, have a good social network and take care of their career at the same time.

I maybe have too many goals at the same time, but I'm a person who loves a challenge and who wouldn't want to waste any of my talent to have a quiet life.

So, if anybody has any time management tips or advice, please let me know!

That's all for now!

Bye bye!

- C.


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